Q&A

I’ve been married for 8 yrs and now I want to file for divorce and move out of state. I haven’t really worked much in the years we have been married; there are no kids involved and we rent our home. He makes over 100 thousand a year but tells me I will leave with what I came in to the marriage with, is this a true statement? I’m very much alone in this and I know I will need some sort of support for a short period of time. Also can he cut me out of his medical insurance once there is a legal separation? Help!! I’m really lost. Thank you.

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I have been married 26 years. I served my husband with divorce papers last Sept. He moved out last Dec. We are at the stage of either a trial or settle. He offered to settle 50/50 everything with child support til our last child is emancipated and no maintenance. He earned $112K last year and I earned $35K. He claims I am self supporting and I cant afford to live in the home the way I am use to. Should I be entitled to alimony?

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My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We have a 2 year old son. He is military and I was until our child was born. We both agreed for me to get out of the service to take care of the child and go back to college. Everything we own is in his name even though we bought it after marriage. He has not been a very good husband and i am tired of being miserable. I want out after two years of trying to work it out. I have no job, no car and no income. He has agreed to let me keep the car and he will pay for it. We lived in TX and I decided to move back to VA with my family. I want him to be able to have a good relationship with our son but it seems almost impossible. I don’t want this to be ugly and I still want to be on good terms with him. I really don’t have the money to fight him in court over property. How much support is he required to give me until the divorce is final. The only bills we have is house, car insurance, etc. There is no credit cards or lines of credit. He has almost $1000 left over a month after all bills are paid. He says that if I decided for sure to divorce then I am cut off to any financial support besides child support and he is just paying the car payment. He wants to keep the house and I do not contest that even though there is over $10,000 in equity in it. How can I do this peacefully? I can not afford daycare so I can go to school. I will get my G.I. Bill in Oct. but that is not helping me now. Jobs in my area (southwestern VA) are scarce and most people want full time and will not hire for a few weeks only. I would appreciate it if you can help any at all.

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hi: just wanted to find out what the ny state laws towards alimony is and does it also relate to someone who is on a foreign work permit.

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I have been married for a year and a half. I believe there is infidelity on the part on my husband. I constantly find phone numbers, condoms (we don’t use them), receipts for gifts bought for other women(I know for a fact they were for women), disappearing acts, etc. I tried to talk with my husband to get to the root of the problem which only further aggravated the situation. He decided that since I don’t trust him, he was leaving and has been gone for about two months. In the meantime, I have been left without financial support and have gotten behind in my bills. We both worked, but my salary almost doubles his. This does not make handling the bills on my own any easier since without his income I am living above my means. What recourse do I have financially if I pursue separation financially? I would hate to be supporting him financially because I make more money. We have no children together, but I have three from a previous relationship. I want to separate, but I surely don’t want to pay him for leaving me.

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My mother-in-law was awarded alimony after a divorce in New York over 25 years ago. About 15 years ago her ex stopped gradually stopped making payments. Because she was scared my mother-in-law did nothing about it. She is now about to be laid off from her job. Is she entitled to back alimony and future alimony? Or, was there a limit on the time she could fight for the money she was/is owed? She has never remarried.

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i have been married almost 10 years-4/20/04 if i get a legal seperation can i also stay on the medical insurance- he is a suffolk county police officer- the insurance for the me and the two kids is free no out of pockets expenses for him. Also he is an extreme drinker and has some police reports filed on him for abuse to me only -the abuse (all of them has been since a month after we married- i have always kept a diary and can list all dates which is quite often he has involved in his behavior and to top this he has many girlfriends and one after two years of coming here breaking in , ramming garage doors and getting my husband loaded work gun and holding james& I hostage and etc. his job finally kept coming here and finally talked me into order of protection -in which she violates here and there- but its much better-my husband still meets her goes to all her courts dates and has a tattoo on his arm of her name about 2 years now. i live in fear from him everydayi do not any acess to money and well its pretty horrid-he does not hurt the kids just ingores them alaways did- their ages are 5 ,7 they do not like him and are telling me not to let him in the home and want a new nice dad, well he does make $102,000 a year but he fails to give us money and i mention he goes missing for days, sometim weeks etc with no way to contact him -my mom lives downstairs and thank god for her she doesnt make much with social security but can help sometimes. i have recently had to go to a church for food it was embrassing he keeps his paycheck cash in his wallet there is no money anywhere in accounts and he pays bills sometimes but the house went into foreclosure twice and my friend gave me the money to save my youngest child will be going to school soon he forbids me to work all thses years, and have to produce receipts when he gives me food money to check to make sure i never get change back and to see and critize what food i bought. my friends help to get me hand me downs for me and kids and even bought them new jackets for the winter when they came here (which is only allowable when james is working) and he does not know we are not allowed to have anyone over to visit- anyway i cried when i got the jackets- our home is falling apart it was a foreclosure when we got it and needs lots of work which he does not want to or have any repairs so its not worth much. but he always on vacations himself, out at bars all of the time, sporting events , rock concerts etc.. and the cable shut off again and phone disconnected again because he so late paying or for lack of not paying them etc.. what would be the best thing to do –also he does want a divorce or seperation -that he is handling everything etc-but he does not. i need help-also he has a son who is 12 from a previous girlfriend he never sees him last time maybe 3 years ago me and my kids would get and see him 100x more than james-the child support is 700.00 a month which is garnished from his paycheck. i sure this would have some bearing on me and kids. i live in New York State. Could you tell me how much i would receive in child support thank you- sorry its so long, but i guess you would need to know basic of components thank you please write back.

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hello. i am 36 yrs old and have been married for 6 yrs. my wife and i have come to an agreement that we need a separation. we have 2 children. the car the condo, all of our possessions we attained during the marriage. i am working but my wife is currently unemployed. she is about to get a job that will potentially pay her six figures(double what i make). i am willing to pay child support but what happens when she gets the job? ami still responsible to pay her funds even though she makes double what i do? we have agreed on terms for the separation but just need to have it finalized. can you help me with the name of someone in bklyn or manhattan that can help? thank you for your help in this matter.

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I have been married to this man for 8 years …he has spinal injury and is confined to a wheelchair…When we first got married he was walking with canes and he told me that it was temporary that he would walk again. However shortly after we got married he sustained a fracture and refused to continue therapy so he could walk with canes again but instead requested a wheelchair. Our relationship has deteriorated sexually and otherwise. He is now impotent…we haven’t had sex in over 5 years and I have never cheated on him…He does not want me to work..so I can serve him hand and feet…He refuses to go on disability because this is his way of controlling me…he brings in the money and I serve him hand and feet and remain his prisoner…I am now 51 years old and I just can’t take this anymore..It is driving me crazy…I want a divorce but the house is on his name and I have nothing….no job no money…every time I get a job he manipulates me into quitting….please help me….I am not a greedy person I just want to be compensated for all the time I gave to him…I have had no life since the day I married him…he managed to alienate me from all my friends and family…I would really appreciate your advice on how I can go about getting a divorce from this man and be able to get something to start a new life with….I am a medical transcriptionist by trade so I can still get back in the job market and be able to take care of myself but right now I have no money of my own…my mother left me $13,000.00 when she died but he put it on both our names and we don’t have even that much in the bank anymore….thanks again .

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My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We live in New York. He left the house. We have 2 children together. I make more money than him. Do I have to pay him alimony? Does he get half of my pension? Do I have to be legally separated for him to only get 1/2 pension for the time we were married? Thanks!

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